As I sit across from a Goth chick and a hunky, bearded Delhi guy (who is obviously pretending to read ‘The Alchemist’ while slyly checking me out) in the Rajdhani train, I go into flash-back mode and reflect upon the decisions which led me to this moment.
Two and a half years ago when I graduated as an engineer, I started working at a social enterprise as a Programme Associate. The organization provided coaching to disadvantaged high-school students to clear college entrance exams by using a unique pedagogy. I saw first-hand how raw passion for something can drive people and my co-workers at the organization became my role models almost immediately. It was a humbling experience to see the students work so hard despite having a mountain-load of problems, whether they were financial or personal. The work was tough and fulfilling. Soon enough though, I realized that I didn’t have what it takes to nurture a batch of twenty-seven kids who looked up to me. Being the spontaneous soul that I am, I gave the obligatory one-month notice to my boss and had a heart-wrenching farewell party with the kids on my last day.The few months that I’d spent there gave my life a better direction but I was yet to find “my thing”.
A month passed by and I still hadn’t decided what I wanted to do next. Being the daughter of someone who works in the local self-government, taking up a government job was something that was (for the lack of a better word) strongly encouraged. And so, after Diwali, I set off to New Delhi to attend the coaching classes to prepare for the Civil Services Exam. I stayed at Old Rajinder Nagar which is a hub for everything to do with the Civil Services Exam. It was like a little town which could have had a giant glass dome fall over it and life would still go on as usual. I enjoyed all the coaching classes I attended, it was heaven for those who wanted to ace the UPSC exam and also for those who just wanted to soak up as much knowledge as possible. I fell in the latter category, I loved the independence that I had, I loved the Delhi winter, I loved meeting people from all across the country, but my heart wasn’t in on the preparation of the exam. There was something else that I wanted and I didn’t know what it was. A shoulder dislocation during my visit home, cut short my Delhi sojourn and I was back home for good.
After getting mind-numbingly bored at home, I applied to a law school which in hindsight, was one of the best decisions I ever took. Law school was unlike any other college I had ever attended, being a science student I was programmed to keep my head down and just listen to the lecturers drone on, but here, debating with the teachers was encouraged and boy was it fun! I signed up for Moot Court and attended almost all the seminars and events that the college had to offer. Being a budding photographer, I soon started covering the college events. The first semester went by in a breeze, I scored well in the exams and I felt nothing could stop me. Except, something did. While I loved studying law theoretically, I got a reality check on the practical aspects of it by virtue of a short internship at a law firm. I left behind my two new best friends and decided to give GRE and TOEFL in preparation to move to the United States to pursue Masters in Engineering (which was my back up option).
However, things didn’t pan out and I was still in a state of mental flux. By now my parents had completely lost patience with my lack of career, and I was asked whether I wanted to just get married. The surprising part was, I actually considered it, only to thankfully dismiss it later. Several weeks of binge watching of TV shows followed but that got me bored too. And then something amazing happened. While rummaging through some stuff, I dug out a few of my old writing works. I started writing again. I had forgotten the joy I’d felt when I penned down my thoughts in clear and precise English. So I started applying to several places for content writing. I didn’t hear back from any of them because of my lack of relevant work experience. This didn’t dishearten me and after waiting for a few more days, I decided to take matter into my own hands and move out to pursue writing full-time. The question of where to move was simple; there was only one other city in which I had stayed and I had absolutely loved it and so here I am, on my way to Delhi, typing away to the rickety beats of the train. Now there are four of us here in the tiny train compartment, furiously typing away. It makes me feel less lonely as if I’m a part of a larger community where each of us is trying to find their own way in this crazy world. We are a part of a new generation which finds success in unconventional ventures and has no permanent addresses; we’re all modern nomads.
As I bade goodbye to my family, I felt proud of myself for experimenting with different careers and having the courage to follow my heart where it took me, for I have a story to tell now and it is worth telling. I am sure there are more adventures waiting for me right around the corner and I welcome them with open arms. The not-so-little birdie is flying away from the nest for good, leaving behind her little birdie sister behind. Bye bye little birdie, I will miss you little one.
My Dear Moody 